btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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