can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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