he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
