Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
