I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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