You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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