You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
