I don't usually arrange sex via text message
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
