In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
