I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
pray to the hookup gods
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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