I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
