Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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