Moan for me like Helen Keller
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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