so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I did not marry a roomba.
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