she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We're too hungover to prance.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
