My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
