Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize