Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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