I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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