why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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