Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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