Where are you?
In a non slutty way
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
