Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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