So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
