SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.