The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
His nipple licking is glorious
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