I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
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How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
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Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot