A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.