I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
