T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We left an ass print on the piano.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
