I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
