Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
wow bdsm is so cute
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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