you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
