As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
