So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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