ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
