if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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