i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I want to fling myself into the sun
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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