there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
