I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
