Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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