You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
