Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
