too bad you live with your parents still
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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