I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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