'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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