So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
