guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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