I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
