Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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