Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
