I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
