Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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