I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
