Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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