I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
