Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
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