oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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