3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We're facebook friends in real life
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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