The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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