We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I would fuck him just for his dog
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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