This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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