Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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