hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
