I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
