Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
