my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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