Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
